🎭

Why did I think this was going to be fun and any different from previous experiences? A part of me knows I am more than capable of acing my exams, although, another part of me is so disillusioned by the authority given to the markers — considering their own expectations, counter to my own, are potential variables against my words being graded fairly — that I almost want to counter their expectations and contest my lecturer’s theories and use the exam as my time to do it in, because I don’t believe everything I have been taught so far and can articulate my reasons why. (“Social” paradigm shift, pfftt, why not just spit on Thomas Kuhn’s grave!) However, now is probably not the time, even though I feel it should be.

Exam time just seems…unnecessary. I can’t address what I have personally gained from my learning, I can only reiterate what has been taught, proving nothing new to me. Worse still, I have no one to talk to and bounce my thoughts around with. I am frustrated. I’m not even sure if what I’m trying to get off my chest even has anything to do with exams or the University experience. Maybe, subconsciously, I just want someone to tell me I’m wrong, and that everything is going to be alright.

Will marks gained from the exams prove beneficial and payoff in the grand scheme of my life? Yes. Will the questions and content of the exams and how I answer to them have an effect on the grand scheme of my life? Fuck no. To me, exams are a way of evaluating course statistics by using student results to monitor the curriculum, and not expand upon the individual’s learning. Exams remind me of IQ tests, or Lotto; fun and meaningful for some, but not for others who know why. My point is, I dislike being examined. Who on Earth has the authority to tell me how well I am, based within the bubble of their own created curriculum and exam questions? (Exams; now there’s a bygone tradition due for a paradigm shift.) I’m going to brew some green tea now, light a few aroma scented candles and draw myself a hot bath before I drown myself in self-doubt and gibberish, so help me Gandalf! Then I will study.

~ by Fionnlagh on May 31, 2013.

Posted in 👽 [F]-F I L E S
Tags: Academic Advice [F], Final Exams Next Week and I Am Unprepared ...I Think, I am an anomaly, legitimacy vs authority, Paradigm Shift, rant, Student + Dying = Studying [F], Studying = Student + Dying [F], The University of Auckland, University life is just as lonesome as modern life itself, You want results?! You can't handle the results! [F]