Artificial Taste Has No Expiry Date [F]

But it freaking should! Bought me an energy drink from a little old women who owned a dairy along Ponsonby Road, even though I could have gotten two for the price of one at the Countdown three blocks back. Nothing wrong with supporting local business owners. At least that’s what I was cool with earlier today, but now I’m not so sure. No, sir. Fuck that!

So I was eating pizza, bored with the lack of visual stimulation in the vicinity, when I decided to take interest in the bottle. The original “V” brand logo I expected to see was replaced with a letter “E”, odd, but there was a comic bubble with promotional guidelines next to it that explained it, stating; SPELL IT, SHOOT IT, SHARE IT. #VCHAT Ends 31.01.16.

That’s right — 2016!!! The promotion ended at the start of 2016, meaning the liquid in the bottle was produced in 2015, or earlier considering the shelf-life for these types of drinks is ludicrously long. Knowing that, I wasn’t really gagging or anything. Several questions popped in my head though, such as, how much energy is contained in a bottle of energy drink from 2015/16, should I bother walking back up the road to waggle my finger in the old lady’s face, and was I going to die? Well, I’m still alive. Old lady lost herself a customer though and one who doesn’t care enough about her business to enlighten her. I should have suspected something was amiss when I saw her giant jelly crocodile plastic bucket was empty, save for four green crocodiles. Bitch needs to restock and get her shit together, for real. I’m back to drinking water for the next few weeks in the meantime, that’s for sure…but I’ll probably ease into relapse with ginger beer.

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~ by Fionnlagh on January 23, 2018.

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