Seal Slaps Man with Octopus — “I don’t know who got the bigger fright, the octopus, the seal, or me.”
Gangster seal pulls a swim-by, bitch-slaps human wielding a fellow aquatic life form then makes a clean hit-and-swim getaway:
https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12132762
A kayaker inadvertently got a face full of tentacles while coming between a seal and its lunch in waters off New Zealand. Kaikoura on New Zealand’s South Island has a large population of fur seals. The octopus tried to escape the seal by latching onto the bottom of a kayak but it is not know how successful that strategy was in the long-run.
The salty seal has yet to be identified and is considered extremely racist. Humans are warned to keep vigilant for the perpetrator and avoid feeding (OK yes I made that up).