Disclaimer: Another rant. Feel free to read but know this is how I unload the clutter of thoughts in my head, so don’t expect too much sympathy on my part to make sense.
Missed my first Philosophy of Law tutorial this morning no thanks to traffic. I used the word missed but what I really did was alter my initial plan to attend. I mean, I could have walked in 27 minutes late, but instead I chose to cut my losses and make up for it in neglected readings. Plus, I have a real problem with people/the involuntary silent judgments of others/attention, and I’ve noticed/experienced that the old adage, “better late than never,” is actually a crock of shit. People expect excuses worthy of their own expectations when you’re late, but if you just don’t show up, it’s a given that those same expectations will dissipate over time, revealing them for what they always were — invalid judgments made in a moment of unreason. Never up for debate, either you or they are wrong; and personally I don’t believe or certainly pertain my thoughts to the viewpoint that things in life are simply that black or white and either A or B. So I avoid. Perhaps a C option presents itself the most worthy of actions. And what about all those incremental fragments of moments and thoughts a person has to deal with that gets them from and to either A or B. Our small, personal moments are what make and drive us but are overlooked and under valued in the eyes of others. Why do we allow actions to speak for us (A, B, C) and not the reasons (D) behind our actions? Are people by nature irrational creatures? It’s like the world we’ve created for ourselves is an illusion so we don’t betray modesty and reveal our true individualistic disposition. We are all indifferent towards and critical of Difference in some way or another, but why do so few fight it? Designated empiricism. Not always correct.
The carnal truth is, better never than late. Trust me. People like myself have to adopt a persona merely to fit in, or become phantoms among you, in a world where socialization is the veil of narcissism. …Or maybe I just really don’t like attention that much more than the average introvert, so much more that I don’t even know how to explain myself proper. I think I might Google search me a quote to explain myself for me. In any case, there is a reason why I prefer my own company. I don’t have to interact on anyone’s level, and I am tired of being misinterpreted.
A friend made me aware of a paper I probably would have loved to do myself — comics & film. After my last tutorial for the day, I had time to sit in during the second half of her lecture. Worked well enough on paper. Making my way from engineering and then looking for the room was another matter, and I ended up in the same situation as this morning — late. I wasn’t going to start looking for my friend while the lecturer was lecturing only to squeeze past other students just to sit by her, that’s rude. It wasn’t related to any of my other papers, plus the attention thing. So, again, I altered my planned exertion of effort for something of similar value to me, ending up familiarizing myself with the area instead.
Discovered a secret window in this disused projection room at the back of the theatre.
I watched two interesting short films and read my comics in-between. It was strangely cathartic, like my own private area, right where I wanted to be yet not quite exposed. Totally my new favourite refuge on campus. I wonder how hard it is to jimmy the lock?
Low. Deep Gravity. Armor Hunters: Harbinger. The Wicked + The Divine. Black Science. The Wake.
The first short is an anti-comicbook propaganda film from the 50’s that aired October 9, 1955. Sections of this appear in the documentary “Comic Book Confidential” which I don’t own but remember borrowing from Chris “Guerrilla Monkey” Tan a while ago. Seeing comics demonized will always be funny:
The second is this neat, live-action adaptation of the comic book character, Superman in “Adventures of Superman,” an American television series (1952–1958) based on comic book characters and concepts created in 1938 by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster:
As for me, well, until someone invents vanishing cream, I will walk the earth a nomad enduring the frustrations of others to no avail in the hopes that someday, somewhere, sometime, someone special will see through me. Dark in the boy. [cue theme song]
🎭 